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And remember, it's kind of sexy when a man feels empowered enough to discuss his feelings.

There are enough hurdles to making a relationship work, however old you are, so why let age add more stress?

I grew up the only child of older parents (who are also 10 years apart), and often felt like an awkward old lady trapped inside a teeny-bopper’s body. I admit, I wasn’t as physically attracted to him as I had been to other partners. Have you ever seen a girl with a hideous boyfriend and thought, “Seriously, how the f$*k did he pull that off? Either he's just a nice friggin’ dude; or being with him boosts her self-confidence. In my case, the age gap was actually a cavernous black hole defying space and time. He’s old and sick now, and she takes care of him (even financially), but she’s still partying and sleeping around. I sometimes imagine what would have happened if I had stayed with my older man.

The last I heard, my older ex was in a tumultuous relationship with another 20-something, this time a singer reminiscent of Björk.

Most men who have their stuff together at or around 40 have little interest in settling down. If you take into consideration that women outnumber men 20 to 1, the odds are already heavily in the eligible bachelor's favor. Throw in gay men, undesirables, jail birds, and married men with morals and the numbers go to 200 to 1.

If you really like her, just go with the flow and be yourself, regardless of whether “yourself” is a silly, dorky, immature 57-year old or a wise and mature 24.

That relationship between a younger guy and an older woman is likely to be supercharged by a combination of the younger man’s peak sex drive and the older woman’s confidence, experience and her own sex drive.

There are some other compelling reasons for why older women are more attractive to younger guys.

Even though this guy and I were 25 years apart, we had a lot in common. I didn't know then that our age gap would define the relationship. I got that; but even though I knew there was no future, I didn’t cut it off completely. After it ended, he talked to a lot of people about our relationship -- and what happened through the grapevine was unexpected. Women judged me as having an ulterior, economic motive: “She just dated him for his money,” or “She thought she could get ahead.” In our society people are so quick to judge a young, naïve woman -- never the older man who perhaps should’ve known better too.

We worked in the same profession, had similar interests, and shared common philosophical views. So what if he was wrinkly, in all the places you might expect? There was zero jealousy on both sides, and I never saw him check out another woman -- due to him being satisfied, of course, but also him being well-seasoned in how to respect the opposite sex. Another lesson in dating: a fling with someone in your professional/personal circle is more often than not bad news. I have a friend who’s been married to someone for more than a decade who is 20 years older than her.




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